Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Top 5 Signs Your Wife Is About To Go Into Labor (Or You Pray To God She Does Real Soon...)


That's it.

I've waited long enough.

The way my wife waddles around the house like a penguin, the lack of any speck of dust in our house, and the number of trips I've taken to Goodwill this summer, tells me its time for this little girl to get here already.

There are many things I've experienced in these final days while waiting for the baby to get here.

So I've compiled these 5 signs that any new expecting dad can use to tell if their wife is ready to go into labor.

When you recognize these signs, there is absolutely no doubt that you are mere moments away from the birth of your child.

You HAVE to be, right??

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Copy them down.

Make them refrigerator art.

Put them in your wallet.

Share them with your friends.   

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So here they are...

1.
You have impromptu "hardcore" housecleaning sessions at 10:30pm, because the thought of having a dirty house, while she is in the hospital, drives her literally insane.

2.
She doesn't let you snuggle in bed anymore, because the thought of your leg, arm, finger, or hair follicle touching her while she sleeps, makes her want to murder you, while you are sleeping like a baby beside her.

3.
You have to pick-up after yourself every single night before coming to bed, because (refer to #1...)

4.
You've "Nested" to the point that your house could be host to the National Bald Eagle Convention for the next 3 years.

5.
The thought of having your parents and in-laws come and cook you enough food for 3 months, so you don't have too, is beyond glorious.

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I mean, I'm no expert on this.  This is going to be our first child, so I have no other reference.

But, this HAS to be true.  HAS TO BE.  

So, you other dads out there, let me know if I'm right.  Tell me your story, because I need to know how much longer I have to clean, nest, hang things on the wall, go to Goodwill, and just dream about the first time my kid smiles at me.  

I've dreamed about it for years.


I just literally can't stand it anymore!!  




I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A DAD.

Tim

4 comments:

  1. excellent post. Enjoy the moment when it happens :)

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  2. Relish the insanity of it all as it will be kicking up a notch once junior is born - in a good way of course :D

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  3. Thanks everyone! Sorry it took me so long to respond. We (well ME more than anyone) is going freaking bananas around here waiting for the kiddo!!

    @Mammasaurus So does this cleaning thing staying around for months or years after the baby? I mean I'm loving having a spotless house for weeks now, but sweeping, moping, and dusting the house every 2 days is making me nuts.

    ReplyDelete

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